Searching For My Home
I grew up in Florida, I became a man in Hawaii, and California is new to me. There’s no rule book for having the freedom to live and work virtually anywhere in the world. It’s a relatively new concept, and while it should feel like complete freedom, sometimes it just feels like complete confusion. It’s a loss of your roots. However, in searching for my home I have come to some conclusions:
No Place Is Perfect
There are things I love about Hawaii, Florida and California — and there are things I don’t love. Unfortunately, I can’t pick and choose my favorite things from each location to create a magical land.
The Decision Must Be Yours
Other people can’t choose your home for you, and believe me they will try. If you move somewhere for reasons other than your own, it can create a growing resentment towards the person or people that influenced your move. You must live in a location for your own reasons.
Nobody Can Relate
Choosing where to call home is a dilemma most of the world is never faced with. I’m not looking for sympathy. I might be seeking guidance. But when you’ve carved out a trail of your own, or started the Hero’s Journey as Joseph Campbell might say, the chances of finding a mentor or somebody else that has walked your path are slim.
There Are Bigger Problems
Choosing to live in Hawaii, California or Florida isn’t a “problem.” Health and money issues are problems. When you boil down to it, the only problem is my wasted time and energy on the dilemma.
Being Close Doesn’t Always Make You Closer
When moving to San Diego, I thought my brother and I would be hanging out every other week. In reality, we see each other once every 2 months for only a few hours at a time. It might be different had I moved to Hollywood, but that wouldn’t suit my lifestyle at all. We both have our own things going on, and the 2 to 4 hour drive isn’t as close as it might sound. Moving closer geographically didn’t make us any closer as friends or brothers. We would stay just as close living in completely different locations. In fact, the time spent together would be more valuable.
The Conclusion To My Conclusions
I’m sick of feeling like my life is in limbo, always waiting for the next move. It’s emotionally and physically draining. It restricts my enjoyment of my current location, and prevents me from living in the moment. I’m ready to plant some roots, and fully invest in a culture and lifestyle. I’m ready to purchase a home and start a family within a few years. It’s not an easy decision, but it’s a dilemma that needs to be resolved so I can stop wasting my energy on it. I’m not sure where it will be, but I can’t go wrong with any of my three options.
By the way, all those photos were taken from my iPhone… not bad, ay?
I think San Diego sounds like a compromise and not a very good one at that. Stop making rationalizations and trying to justify its existence. It has no real import in your life. Return Home to Hawaii!
P.S. I’m not trying to be bossy. That’s just exactly what I get from your writing. Try reading what you’ve written as a third person, which I know is hard to do, but you’ll see what I mean.
Thanks for the comment Victoria. I’m flying back tomorrow for a week to check out rentals and housing 🙂
I just moved to Oahu from Encinitas, CA. While many people think San Diego is paradise, I wanted warmer water and a different lifestyle. Before I chose Oahu I faced the dilemma of where to move where the water is warm, I can surf all I want (I mostly longboard and am not very aggressive), and I enjoy the lifestyle. I was debating between Nicaragua, Costa Rica, El Salvador and Hawaii. I hope you made it back and are enjoying paradise again.
Sort of a rare article brought up by a person who is not retired but has the luxury of living anywhere. It does sound like Hawaii is your first choice. However, while most people seem to believe this, I don’t see why anyplace has to be a “home base.” If you like a place — stay, if you grow tired of it — move on. Once the job issue is removed from the equation frequently issues like housing (having a bunch of your stuff in one place) and then personal relationships tend to ground people to one spot. However, email and other communication technologies have really reduced the need to be physically in one place to keep relationships going.
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